awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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