I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
