Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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