my mouth tastes like poor choices
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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