bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize