Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
