Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Randomize
