need another drink. this is the easiest way
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
being pregnant is like rehab
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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