I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
