Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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