The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
