yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
