Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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