I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
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One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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