I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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