If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
