My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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