My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
