I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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