I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
