Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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