anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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