it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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