in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
