Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
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