No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize