I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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