porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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