It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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