My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
im on a boat
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