I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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