it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
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