Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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