i just had sex bonerless
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
