Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
