She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
