just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
