Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
