16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I FOUND THE LEGS
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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