It's Friday. Sex?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
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In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
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I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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