May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
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