do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder