plz talk dirty to me
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...