plz talk dirty to me
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
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i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
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Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy