I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
