Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
