Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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