is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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