In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
