What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
