A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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