Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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