My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
