Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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