question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
