I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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