so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Randomize