dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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