There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize