It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
