They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
