He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
