I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
