I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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