He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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